TAKUMI UEDA
《Hayao Miyazaki Anthropology #4》 2021

Portrait :宮崎駿 Hayao Miyazaki
1941年、東京生まれ。映画監督、アニメーター、漫画家。
Born in 1941 in Tokyo. Filmmaker, Animator, Manga Artist,

小学4年生のときテレビで放送していたラピュタを見て、こんな世界のこんな風景が描けたら自分は幸せなんじゃないかと思いました。そんな時に、たまたま 幼馴染に絵を習いに通わない？と誘われて、これは行くしかないと思いました。父はいつもウチには金がないと言っていたので、はたして通わせてくれるものか、 夕食後、自分の机の上でいつ言おういつ言おうと考えてたら吐きそうなくらい緊張してきます。ここで言わなかったら一生後悔するぞと思ったので、父の仕事部屋に行きアニメーターになりたいのでアトリエに通わせてくださいと言いました。父は一言、「わかった。月謝は幾らだ?」と言いました。

高校卒業の直前に初めて応募してから、3回ほどジブリの美術職採用に応募してみましたが、どれも結果は不採用でした。大学四年生になり、同級生の一番絵が 上手い友人も不採用だったと聞いた時に、自分の中でジブリで宮崎駿のもとで宮崎監督の世界を描くということを、どこかあきらめたような気がします。

アニメーターになりたいのに油画の美大受験を選んでしまったこと自体が間違いだったような気もしますが、美大受験をきっかけに芸術への問いに躓き、小学 4年生の時の衝動の目指している方向から乖離していき、夢が現実的に無理かもしれないことに納得してしまったとき、自分の心を救ってくれるものが躓いた芸術 というのは皮肉です。

それでも絵を描くことがやめられないのは、あの時の宮崎作品への感動の多幸感と一生のお願いとして父が教室に通わせてくれたからと思う時があります。どうしたらあの頃の感動を宮崎駿やディズニーに遥か及ばない人間がアニメーションとしてカタチにすることができるのか、今も彷いながら描いています。

Watching “Laputa Castle in the Sky” on TV when I was a 4th grade elementary student, I thought I would be happy if I were to draw sceneries of a world like this. At that time, a friend from childhood invited me for a painting class by chance, and I thought I had no choice but to go.Getting back to my desk after dinner, I became too nervous to take a deep breath, wondering if he would let me since he had always grumbled that we had a tough time making ends meet. “I would regret for the rest of my life if I weren’t to tell”, I said to my -self, I went into his workroom. I told my father I wanted to become an animator and asked him to let me go to the painting class. It was just one word from my father, “alright, how much is the monthly tuition?”.

I had applied for recruitment exam at Studio Ghibli four times since I was a senior student in high school, but it all failed. At the senior year of university, I heard that one of my classmates who I assumed as the most talented at painting had failed the recruitment exam too. It was when, I suppose, I finally gave up on drawing a world Hayao Miyazaki depicts under him at Studio Ghibli.

I stumbled upon a question, “what is art?” while preparing for entrance exam of art university and that led me to feel detached from the drive for animation I used to have at a 4th grade in elementary school. “I might take the wrong path. Despite the wish to become an ani -mator, I chose to major in oil painting”. That idea often came across my mind, but in the face of reality that my dream was unlikely to come true, it was art that saved my heart. That’s ironical, isn’t it?

Still, I cannot give up on drawing paintings. It may be because the Miyazaki’s work was so impressive and gave me a sense of euphoria, and because my father accepted the favor to let me go to the painting class at that time. Although I was no match for Hayao Miyazaki or Disney, I keep drawing paintings wondering how I could cast that sensation into shape as animation.